I stupidly went to the mall this morning. In the face of such horrors, and in an attempt to stay connected to my happy, joyful, non-Scrooge side this holiday season while maintaining some small measure of perspective, I've taken to distinguishing between the different social behaviors I've been forced to notice over the course of the month, slotting them into one of three categories and sending the various recipients my holiday wishes accordingly.
A small but repugnant group that includes:
*Drivers who purposely cut you off on icy roads or who stop indefinitely in the middle of a narrow parking-lot lane, trapping you there.
*People who push and shove on escalators so as to beat everyone to the sales items.
*Those rotten individuals who steal store merchandise, wallets and purses, gifts intended for others or someone else's identity.
May Santa bring lumps of coal to each of them...and pelt them with it.
A far larger group that includes:
*Thoughtful souls who bake gingerbread or sugar cookies from scratch and insist on sharing them.
*Those incredibly dedicated people who serve others by volunteering in soup kitchens, donating time and resources to charities they believe in and smiling sincerely at all who pass by.
*Anyone who shovels or plows anyone else's 10-inch-deep, snow-covered driveway without any expectation of payment or even a word of thanks.
May they receive gifts back in kind--tenfold.
This may be the biggest group of all. They include but are not limited to:
*The accidental line cutters.
*Visitors who stop by "for just one minute" but manage to track in an hour's worth of slush, salt and mud.
*Guests or relatives who, in forwarding an agenda or a timetable of their own, unwittingly create innumerable inconveniences for others.
May they one day see their actions through a more perceptive lens, cease their not-mean-spirited-but-still-really-annoying behaviors and choose to either embrace a heightened sense of awareness during the holidays or hide away until after the New Year.
But back to The Nice category...while I rarely have a chance to see any of you in person and, thus, you are relieved of having to witness my usual December Grinchiness firsthand, I think of you all just the same. With my deepest gratitude for a year of sharing blog posts and my heartfelt joy at having gotten to know you all just a little better through our exchanges, I send one final wish: May your holidays and the coming year be filled with good health, happiness, delicious (and miraculously calorie-free) treats and the fulfillment of your dreams.
Merry Christmas, friends.