Not because I'm getting married. Thankfully, I'm very happy with my husband, a fact I'm sure he'd be pleased to hear.
I do, however, need a wedding-planner-esque checklist or, heck, a 200-page guidebook for this whole publishing process. Brides-to-be have that ginormous binder thingy where they're told at, say, 12 months pre-wedding to make sure the church/ceremony site and the reception hall is booked. They're informed they'd better get in their caterer requests by month #8 or something, and hire the band or DJ by month #6. I can no longer remember the dates by which we needed to order our cake or send out our invitations, but I do remember clinging to that damn planner like a lifeline amidst the endless yards of white tulle and my mother's overenthusiasm.
I want a planner like that right now for the pre-book-debut year. When do I have to get the author bio in to the publicity department? When does the art department need cover ideas? When should I do a photo shoot? (And do I have time to lose 20 pounds first? Answer: Um, no--because the novel comes out in 2009 not 2019...) When should I place ads in magazines? Send ARCs to reviewers? Update my website? Write a press release?
OMG. All I know is that there's a freaking LOT to do. (And my mom, unfortunately, is not going to be able to field my questions or manage the endless details on this one.)
Any suggestions or useful articles? I've gotten some helpful hints from a few online loop friends but, ohhhh, I'm very open to more ideas. Or, you know, links to funny YouTube videos that'll take my mind off the madness...